1. |
Chasm
02:41
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what do you want from me, what is that you plead
what do you care about me, what is that you need
distant fathers, distant brothers
distant family, jump starts the ruins we will be
but I don’t want you in my head, its a chasm I've been told
its a train wreck to behold
dropping off the deep end, or falling down the stairs
sleeping in on the weekend, feeling like nobody cares
growing further, falling farther apart
growing older, needing to lean on a shoulder
but I don’t want you in my head, its a chasm I’ve been told
its a train wreck to behold
You’ve got the wrong idea. About what this means
like all it takes is medication, To take care of all our needs
What do you want from me? What can I do for you?
Tell me how I need to change and what has it all come to
Growing bitter, spending more time alone
Shrinking feeling, Gets stronger as I’ve grown
But I dont want you in my head, Its a chasm I’ve been told
Its a train wreck to behold, Its a train wreck to behold
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2. |
Go to Hell
02:06
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Frank had the world by a string
But I’m just holding on by one
I really didn’t think it was your thing
But I still think its kind of fun
And yes Id rather go to hell
Than spend eternity with the Jesus freaks, I’d
Rather look for Salamano's dog
Than spend my time just counting down the weeks
Oh, not fair, That we should just get some fresh air
Take a sip, getting ready for the sinking ship
Sometimes I feel like a pig
But I gotta say still that I love the lipstick
Waiting For The Shit to hit the fan
Just finding what new links to click
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3. |
Step Aside
03:33
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If life is as dark as you claim it to be
Then you must be damn near unable to see
So fucking stupid you just are who you are
What a romantic even plays the guitar
Step aside, Its a saying that Ill take to heart
What a guy, always ready to just fall apart
2 AM and she’s back at the station
Smokes before work and back on rotation
Just like she’s prompted she reads off the cards
Tired laughs in the mic and sends her regards
Talking again about re-runs outside BNG
Knows all his shit; doesn’t watch much TV
Blank stare at the queue up in front of the bar
Small talk it through like some legend bullshit super star
Step aside, Its a saying that Ill take to heart
What a guy, always ready to just fall apart
Riding away in the seat of your car
It all seems much better looking from afar
Laughing so hard at some joke bout despair.
Just so sardonic, it drains out the air
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4. |
Choking on The Beat
02:40
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I was floating near the ground like a stratus cloud
I was floating round your feet
I was suffocating in the beat
I was a skeleton jiving to some swing
hear drum and cymbal wring
I was rattling in my seat
I was choking on the beat
We waltz down the one way
bear feet on the ground
we did the small dance
and no one was around
my legs were shaking
it was raining in the town
standing on the corner
I dare not make a sound
I was sick on second hand, I was dancing to the band
quiet in the corner and later to the street
of this future ghost town
I was pacing to the beat
We waltz down the one way
bear feet on the ground
we did the small dance
and no one was around
my legs were shaking
it was raining in the town
standing on the corner
I dare not make a sound
breathing on repeat
with my eyes shaking all
up and down
this will be my defeat
please just not now
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5. |
One of The Boys
02:35
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Holding on as tight as I can
holding on all night as I don’t have a plan
to be anywhere but be there with you
When I close my eyes I see three lines.
The middle ones a sandy pale-purple red-wine
vertical blocks drift slow in front of it too
brushed upon stains from the light that I view
its about time I should close my eyes
its about time yet I’m still surprised
to be here
someone come get me I need a hand
I’m stuck and I’m sinking the way that I planed
I’m drunk and I’m sleepy and I don’t understand
Make my way into the backroom
lay down sideways across from the bathroom
string lights hip hop alcohol
I could hear the fucking through the wall
I wanted to be like one of the boys
careless and free looking into the void
I wanted to feel I wasn’t alone
I wanted this shell to feel like my home
its about time I should close my eyes
its about time yet I’m still surprised
to be here
someone come get me I need a hand
I’m stuck and I’m sinking the way that I planed
I’m drunk and I’m sleepy and I don’t understand
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6. |
Après
02:50
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In no time, no time at all
This will be far away
We’ll forget how, We’d spend our days
In no time, no time at all
With my face down on the floor
We’ll forget what, we came here for
It already feels long ago, Thinking that we’d know where to go
Pacing aimlessly around town...at dusk
The railroad tracks, Not coming back
It’s all so clear, So clear to me
Where I’m supposed to be
Suspended far above the clouds
It already feels long ago, Thinking that we’d know where to go
Go anywhere….but up
Thinking it’d be enough
I left one cold dead place
For another one
A quiet place
Behind the sun
A cold dark moon
A cold dim room
Now I go, you’ll fear no more
We’ll forget what we came here for
what we left here for
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7. |
Some People Leave
02:32
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some people leave when they’re lonely
traveling so far from home
some people just up their things
and some people do it alone
some people take off and leave us
some people don’t have a clue
some people know what they want
and thats why they bid you adieu
Some folks out there
Feel like they’ve got a home
Some folks
Out there
Haven’t always felt so alone
Some folks get comfortable living
Small towns and old spots and friends
some folks have always felt lost
And that’s how for some folks it ends
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Call Me Bea Amherst, Massachusetts
"Call Me Bea" is a recording project by Bea Maxwell, a genderqueer song writer-performer- audio engineer.
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