One of The Boys

from Apr​è​s by Call Me Bea

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lyrics

Holding on as tight as I can 
holding on all night as I don’t have a plan 
to be anywhere but be there with you 
 
When I close my eyes I see three lines.
The middle ones a sandy pale-purple red-wine 
vertical blocks drift slow in front of it too
brushed upon stains from the light that I view 

its about time I should close my eyes
its about time yet I’m still surprised 
to be here 

someone come get me I need a hand 
I’m stuck and I’m sinking the way that I planed 
I’m drunk and I’m sleepy and I don’t understand     

Make my way into the backroom 
lay down sideways across from the bathroom 
string lights hip hop alcohol 
I could hear the fucking through the wall

I wanted to be like one of the boys 
careless and free looking into the void 
I wanted to feel I wasn’t alone 
I wanted this shell to feel like my home 

its about time I should close my eyes
its about time yet I’m still surprised 
to be here 

someone come get me I need a hand 
I’m stuck and I’m sinking the way that I planed 
I’m drunk and I’m sleepy and I don’t understand     

credits

from Apr​è​s, released June 29, 2020

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Call Me Bea Amherst, Massachusetts

"Call Me Bea" is a recording project by Bea Maxwell, a genderqueer song writer-performer- audio engineer.

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